I made this dreadful realization AFTER meeting with a new client: half my face was covered with sparkles from my daughter’s fairy princess costume and I had forgotten to brush my teeth.
Yep, welcome to the world of personal hygiene and style for parents. It’s a world in which showers are a treat, your clothes are often covered with various smelly bodily fluids, sweat pants are the top fashion choice and you are so tired that you don’t really care.
This slovenly, stinky existence is at its worst when babies are newborns, but even as kids grow up and parents find their rhythm, it’s hard to find the time to look good. Okay, I know some parents can still put on the style regularly. I watch them enviously as I run errands in my yoga pants accented with Beagle hair and without so much as a speck of concealer on my aging face. In my world, I’m lucky if I can get out the door wearing matched shoes, especially during a busy month like December.
A recent Facebook thread has reminded me that I am not alone in my parental fashion challenges. So, for all you parents who are trying to look halfway decent during this crazy harried pre-Christmas month, this list is for you. Hope it puts a smile on your ‘maybe or maybe not washed’ face.
Epic True Parenting Fashion Fails:
- “At the end of a workday, I found a balled up sock in the back of my leggings. While they were still on.”
- “I once went to work with both my earrings in one ear. I was in two meetings that day.”
- “I was in such a rush to get the kids ready and go to a job interview that I wore Croc flip flops with my dress pants.”
- “I forgot to wear a bra one day last week.”
- From the owner of a daycare: “I have seen everything from boogies, cereal and once even a plastic spoon stuck in a mom’s hair. One mom had two different colors of eye shadow on and another pregnant mom wore two different shoes. In the pregnant mom’s defense, she couldn’t see her feet.”
- “I went to the grocery store just to have conversations with adults and arrived home to realize I had dried spit up all down one side of my neck.”:)
- “I’ve arrived at school with the kids, dropping them off on my way to work, still wearing my fuzzy slippers.”
- “I had peanut butter smeared all over the back of my shirt collar by my daughter and didn’t notice it but kept smelling it.”
- “I went out shopping – dressed like a proper grown up – when the twins were about eight months old. It wasn’t until I got home and changed back into the “mommy sweats” that I realized one of them had thrown up over my shoulder onto my back.”
- “I was in a huge hurry to get to work one morning. I pulled my hair into a ponytail and splashed water on my face without taking time to look in the mirror. I discovered later at work that I had smeared liquid eyeliner and mascara on my face from the day before.”
Li’l Girl Talk
“Keep her mind off broccoli. She hates that,” says The Youngest, age 8, when I mentioned her sister seemed a bit grumpy.