Random Excerpts from a Day at the Beach with Kids

Random excerpts from a Mom getting ready for a day at the beach with her two young daughters:

The sun’s out! How about a trip to the beach?

I love it when you cheer!

Okay, cheering does not involve jumping on the couch. Let’s get focused. We have to get packed.

I don’t love it when you groan and sigh. Go get on your bathing suits. Make sure you pee first.

How come you don’t have your suits on? It’s been 15 minutes. Give me those iPods. Do you want to go to the beach or not?

No, iPods are not essential beach items. We’re leaving them at home.

Yes, I am packing bananas. That’s a lovely, healthy snack.

You can so eat healthy snacks with sand on your hands.

Go put some sunscreen on.

I don’t care if Alice never wears sunscreen. We’re not going to the beach unless you put it on. Do you want to get a sunburn or skin cancer? Do you?

What’s skin cancer? Oh, uh, haven’t we talked about skin cancer before? We haven’t? Let’s not get into that right now. Forget I mentioned it. Let me put some sunscreen on your back.

Ok, the car is all packed.

Yes, it does look like we are going away for a week. The trunk is practically full.

Geez, I forgot the folding chair. Stay in the car. No fighting. I will be right back.

Why are you both crying? What happened?

Your sister is not planning to throw you off a cliff.

You only said that because she picked her nose, licked it and pretended to flick a boogie at you?

Enough! No fighting while I am driving. It’s 30 minutes to the beach. Let’s listen to some music and relax.

Yes, we can put the Frozen soundtrack on repeat.

I’m almost out of gas. I’d better stop now.

Holy cow, it’s 2:30! We won’t get to the beach until nearly 3.

Ok, settle down. Stop crying. Deep breaths. There’s plenty of time left in the day to have fun at the beach.

We packed as fast as we could. It’s takes a long time to get ready for the beach.

Yes, I did so have to chat with Heather first. That was a work call.

What do you mean ‘Will Andi choose Josh or Nick’ doesn’t sound like a work call?

You are right. We are never going to get there.

We made it! Hold it! Where are you going?

I am not carrying everything.

This cooler and lawn chair are heavy. I wish Daddy were here to carry the big stuff.

Yes, I miss him for more than just his ability to carry stuff.

Aaack! Why are you screaming?

Well, that’s why you wear flip flops. The sand can be hot sometimes.

Stop worrying about sharks. The water is too cold for sharks around here.

Who told you about the Great White Shark near St. Andrews?

Yes, I’m sorry I let you watch that Jaws clip on Youtube too.

The water is too shallow here for sharks so just think about something else like rainbows and unicorns, okay?

I know it’s hot. We’re almost there. How would you like to be carrying this heavy cooler?

We made it! Drop your stuff and off you go. I’ll join you in the water in a minute. It’s time for fun!

What do you mean you have to go to the bathroom?

Li’l Girl Talk

“Mom, do you like driving behind seniors?” asks The Youngest, age 8.


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